I'll have what she's having: Uncommon Grounds, Albany, NY

Do you ever look over at the stranger next to you in a coffee shop and wonder… What would it be like to have her life? Or at least her drink.

Well, yesterday, I was hunkered down at the window counter in Uncommon Grounds in Albany tapping away at my computer when a woman sat down next to me and opened a makeshift textbook. One of those late night Kinko's specials from the looks of it. Something about society, science and technology. She was pretty, eating a salad and picking around the croutons. And in front of her was a translucent soda-like drink. Maybe it was the balmy mid-40s sunshine coming through the window, but the bubbly, cold, vaguely citrus thing looked like spring in a glass to me.

"Is that lemonade? I asked.

"No," she said. "It's an Italian soda with coconut and lime."

Ohhhh. I'd never had anything like that. In fact the closest thing would be coconut milk based curry with lime in it. Not the same. And I've never read a book on society, science and technology. Nor do I know how to tie a scarf in my hair the way she had done -- although I've tried with ridiculous results. She had this whole life that I knew nothing about. Some life where it was totally normal to drink Italian soda with coconut and lime. I wanted to know. Nothing in specific, just, you know, everything.

There was a time when the next step would be to start a long conversation that would often result in listening to a person's life story. My husband often teases me about this. (And gets annoyed when I can't get places on time because I've been talking to cashiers, guys at the door, people on the bus and women who order icy drinks with coconut and lime.)

But these days I've had little appetite for such conversations. I think those encounters were part curiosity and part me wandering around in the world looking for something I'd lost. Like the baby duck in the children's book. Are you my mother? Are you my mother? Well, I was looking, too. Is this my life? Is this my life?

I found my life on the day I had my son. And when I had my twin girls my life swallowed me whole for a while. Still, the old curiosity was tingling in the back of my brain.

After she left, I went to the counter and ordered her drink. It sounded so good. I use coconut and lime together all the time in the kitchen. Why not in a drink?

I took a sip. Uggghh. It reminded me of cough syrup. Not one I've tasted, but one they might develop and test market in San Francisco before giving up on it entirely.

Turns out I need liquor, rum to be exact, to enjoy a coconut drink when it is that sweet.

I took a few more sips just to make sure. But no, that was not ever going to be my drink. And I was never into textbooks of any kind. Not my drink. Not my life. But I still would have liked to hear her story. And learn how to do my hair like that.